How to conquer Anger and Worry

In order to get rid of stress and worry one should get rid of his expectations first.

With every stress, worry- there is an expectation or attachment behind- which when does not get fulfilled, it results in stress, worry.

Wrong path: Directly trying to get rid of stress and worry. It does not work.

Right path: Identify the attachment or expectation which was hurt, and caused the anger, worry. Then try to win the attachment.

Details of the right path:
In order to get rid of worry, anger, one needs to get rid of expectation or attachment first. Getting rid of worry does not work directly.

In order to get rid of expectation or attachment, one needs to realize that he is complete in himself as a spirit. If one considers himself as a body he would not be able to realize that he is complete in himself. As an alternative, he should realize he is better off without the thing/condition he has attachment towards.

In order to realize himself as complete, he needs to realize the true nature of spirit. Also that he does not need any worldly thing to reach his true potential. And hence there is no expectation needed from any worldly thing.

Steps: So here are the steps in straightforward manner:

1. First I realize that I am a spirit, who is complete in itself. And I do not need anybody else. I do not need anybody now, neither in future. Also I never needed in the past.
2. Second, the above step will remove all attachments and expectations from all worldly things including body, family, car etc, including the attachments which are causing me stress.
3. Thirdly, it will remove all the stress and worry produced by above things.

There are no ideal conditions in life

It seems there are no ideal conditions in life. We need to achieve our goals in whatever circumstances we have. The idea to wait for ideal circumstances is a flop policy.

The Lords Swami Parswanaath, Swami Mahavira did not wait for the ideal conditions, but they did their effort with whatever circumstances they had. Whether they had to suffer Kamath upsarg or whether Swami Mahavira was in form of lion.

There are two kind of 'best possible efforts':
1. Actual 'best possible efforts': These are the actual best possible efforts
2. Pseudo 'best possible efforts': These are the best actual efforts which one thinks one can. And one may be wrong here in terms of realizing his potential.

For a householder, he should not wait for the ideal conditions to pop up. He should become a saint, and if he can not- then he should break the boundaries of 'his notion of best possible efforts' and reach to the real boundaries. If we just do efforts within out notion of best possible, then there would be no progress since that is what we have been doing.

In words of Acharya Tulsi's words :
"ज्यों ज्यों चरण बङेंगे आगे, स्वतः मार्ग बन जायेगा,
हटना होगा उसे बीच में, जो बाधक बन जायेगा,
रूक ना सकेगी, मुङ ना सकेगी,
सत्य कान्ती की उज्जवल धारा,
प्रभु तुम्हारे पावन पथ पर, जीवन अर्पण है सारा"

Problems with Western medical science

(Source: Deepak Chopra Wellness Radio - January 3rd, from intent.com : http://www.intent.com/podcasts/2009/01/15/deepak-chopra-wellness-radio-january-3rd#comments)

In order to heal a living being, Science tries to understand the body and tries to fix it by using scientific laws. However the living being is combination of spirit and body, and the problems which manifests in body is combination of mechanical laws followed by the body and how spirit influenced the body. Therefore Science is not able to find the right solution.

Holistic approach: Look at body and spirit both
Body- exercising, food, living style etc
spirit- happy, relation with family and child, excitement towards life etc.

Mother teresa - In final analysis

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may just never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it's all between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.

(from Wayne dyer's lecture: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50Ql5w-YXBY&feature=related )

Problem inside, but looking solution outside

There was a guy whose key fell inside house, and there was electricity cut and he could not see the key. However there was street light outside- so he went out and started looking for the keys outside.

The same way we have troubles inside, while we look for remedy in outer world, and in others. We have hate for someone- Instead for finding remedy for it, we start looking for remedy for who we have hate for.

Meeting with Acharya Vidyanand Ji

Like a big tree is outcome from a small seed, similarly a great achievement which follows great actions is outcome from a noble thought. I was in India in december'08, and I had this noble thought to have Darshan of Acharya Vidyanand Ji. I have heard a lot about Him from Pt. Narendra Prakash Ji whom I met during Das Laxan.

I went to KundKund Bharati in Delhi, which was a very good building sorrounded by green trees and full of serenity. There was a big building, and a big lawn in the front. At a corner of lawn there was a small hut where Acharya Shree sits from 3 to 3:30 in the afternoon. I reached there 15 minutes early and waited for him to come. I was watching the hut, some Jain magazine which were resting in the hut, and enjoying the peace.

At around 3 PM Acharya Shree Ji comes, and asks me where I had come from. I gave him a nice introduction about my residence and my interest in religion. He asks me to wait, and then strolls around the garden and then comes to the hut, and takes His seat. And I start my usual questions and answers about Jainism.

After a warm up of questions and answers about 'Darshan', 'Gyan' etc, I ask him - "I have been reading SamayaSaar Ji, but I am not able to understand it. What should I do?"

He replied - "I was in Calcutta for some number of years and was close to the library which had thousands of books and read a lot. It needs a lot of reading." And then he pauses and adds, "One needs to understand spirituality of other religions in order to appreciate the dharma told by Mahavira."

A story: Division on the basis of races

Once upon a time, there was a shepherd, who had many sheeps. A person from a distant country came to visit him, and wanted to know about his sheeps.
He asks- "How much do your sheeps eat in a day"
Shepherd: "I have so many sheeps. Which ones you want to know about - white ones or black ones?"
Person: "White ones"
Shepherd: "exactly 3.5 pounds a day"
Person: "And back ones?"
Shepherd: "3.5 pounds a day"

The person is perplexed. He asks : "How much do your sheeps travel in a day"
Shepherd: "Which ones - white ones of black ones?"
Person: "Lets say white ones"
Shepherd: "I have measured it, and they exactly walk 6 miles a day"
Person: "And what about the black ones"
Shepherd: "They also do 6 miles"

The person gets more perplexed. He asks: "How much wool do your sheeps produce in a season?"
Shepherd: "Which ones - white ones or black ones?"
Person: "Lets say white ones"
Shepherd: "I have measured it, and they produce exactly 6 pounds of wool in a season"
Person: "And what about the black ones"
Shepherd: "They also do 6 pounds"

The person gets irritated and asks - "First I ask you a question and you ask me whether I want to know for white ones or black ones. And ultimately you tell me same for both of them. Then why do you ask whether it is for the white ones or black ones?"
Shepherd: "There is a reason behind it. It is because I have raised the white one. I have nurtured them."
Person: " Ohh I understand it now. And how about the black ones?"
Shepherd: "Actually, I have raised them too!"

The moral of the story is that there is actually not a difference in the white ones and black ones- it is we who make difference in our mind by dividing things on the bases of colors. Eseentially they are all same.

All have the same soul, and their form is not that important. While what we look at is just the form and keep dividing on the basis of back, white, mexican, colorful etc. And on the basis of caste - brahamin, kshatriya, vaishya, shudra. Or Jain, Hindu, Sikha etc. Or man, woman, animal etc. Essentially all of them are same souls.

(Inspired by a lecture of Wayne Dyer)

Cooperation vs Competetion

(Inspired from book- 'You'll see it, when you believe it' - by Wayne Dyer. Page 26)

We have this desire to be better than others. And this desire stems from the fact that we care what others think of us. Lets see why we do that.

We are mix of our natural self and unnatural self. Natural self is our inherent properties like Gyaan, Sukha etc. And Unnatual self is our anger, our knowledge acquired in life, our looks, our possessions etc.

A Gyaani identifies himself with his natural self and an agyaani identifies himself with his unnatural self. A Gyani wants to achieve spiritual qualities and therefore want to attain Moksha. On the other hand an agyaani wants to attain the best 'unnatural qualities to soul' which are considered great worldly. If he can not achieve best then he wants to best in his local community. And if he can not be best in his local community, then he wants to atleast maintain an average standard locally. And this gives him a sense of relativism- and ignite competetion in him. Also he like to laugh at the bad qualities of others because that gives him a good feeling.

On the other hand for a Gyaani- he wants to attain spiritual qualities, and since the goal is Moksha- being good locally does not give him satisfaction. 'Relativistim' does not exist in his dictionary, since he has absolute goals to achieve moksha. When he look at others- he look at their 'goods' to follow, and look at 'bads' as compassion.

To summarize:

• Gyaani believes in co-operation while agyaani believe in competetion.
• Gyaani believes in compassion while agyanni believes in thinking about bad qualities of others and hate them.
• Gyaani corrects others if they go on the wrong track, while agyaani makes fun of them.

Cause and Effect relation in between soul and body

Here are the cause and effect relations in between soul and body as per Text Moksha Marg prakshak Ji, Page 80-81, Chapter 4:

1. Knowledge: As windows helps us know what is outside. Similarly senses and Mann helps the soul gain knowledge.
2. Making voice: As a flute guy pumps out air, and the flute makes sound, similarly soul does the motion and sound comes from body.
3. Motion in body by soul: As a driver moves his hands and legs, and accordingly the car moves. Similarly soul moves and accordingly body moves.
4. Motion in soul by body: As the car moves by quake outside, and the driver moves. Similarly soul moves by the movement of body by external causes.
5. Body's response to soul's emotions: When soul does emotions, the body responds accordingly. When soul has anger, the eyes turn red. When soul is happy, the face smiles etc.
6. Souls pleasure/happiness with bodily changes: With heat or cold, the body temperature goes up or down. And soul gets happy/sad with changes of temperature because of Moha.
7. Changes in body with age: As age increases, the body expands or contracts.

Analogy with driver and Car:

• Color: As someone drives a red car- it does not mean that the driver is red. Similarly, if a spirit is in a red body, it does mean the spirit is red. So it mean I am neither black of white.
• Weight: As someone drives a small car sometimes, and othertimes drive a heavy truck. It does not mean the person gets light or heavy. Similarly, the spirit does not have a weight- it is the body which has the weight.
• Kula: As someone goes to a Toyota showroom, and buys a toyota camry car. After 2 years he junks the car, and then go to a Honda one and buys a Honda accord. And after 5 years he junks the Honda one, and gets a Ford one. It does not mean that he belonged to Toyota lineage, and then Honda and then Ford. Similarly, a spirit gets a body from varous families. That does not mean the soul gets the kul of Brahamn, Kshatriya etc.
• Disease: Lets say the car break down on the Freeway and you can not move because of it. Does that mean you are broken down? Similarly, a disease happens in a body- that does not mean the car is diseased.

Analogy with bike:

• Male/Female: There are two kind of bikes- one is male and other is female bike. If a man rides a female bike, does that mean he will become female. Similarly, a soul does not become male or female with the kind of body it rides.
  

Desire to be better than others

We have this hidden desire to make ourselves feel better than others. This desire comes from the 'Maan and lobh Kashaya- emotions of pride and greed'.

This desire manifests itself in various ways :

• We like to listen or talk bad about poeple around. Because internally it makes us feel good because it satisfies our desire to be better than others. This behaviour is against the 'Upguhan' guna of Samyakdrishti.
• We get fond of praise from others. Since we want to feel better- praise is something we really like. And we do so many things to get the praise from others to make ourself feel better.

Mera pana (My-Ness)

What do we mean when we say - "this is mine"

The work 'Mine(mera)' is used in two contexts by an Agyaani:
1. Ownership: When we own something. Example: my money, my son etc
2. When we have 'sanyog' with something. Example: my country, my caste etc

Lets think- what do we mean by ownership. When we say - that we own something, it means I can make decisions for the thing. For example if I own my house - it means I can change my house according to my will. And if I say I own my wife- it would mean I can make her do what pleases me. If I say I own 20 crores, I mean I have the money at my disposal and I can do what I want.

However, this is a wrong belief. Because I do not own things- I can do what I want until my antaraya karama kshyopksham and sata vedniya are favorable. When they are unfavorable, the same object cease to remain in my control. Therefore my expectation from the object does not hold, because my control only possible if favorable karma is there.

The favorable karma is there for some amount of time, and this makes one think that he owns stuff which is actually wrong.

Analysis on 'Body is mine':
Ifr we just think that I have physical attachment with body, then it makes sense. But if I start thinking that i have control it in the future also and I can make it do what I want, then I am wrong.

Because of favorable Karma, I may have some freedom to do things as I want. However this does not mean ownership.

When one knows above fact then he gets detached with body and object around. Since the attachment was there when he had expectations and therefore desires.

Bollywood spoils us

Bollywood shows us a good image of materialistic world. And makes us feel that is the right thing and this inspires us set goals towards that. And that spoils us.

Problems which money can't solve

We pile up money. So much that we think we are secure. But unfortunately even from worldly point of views, the money does not solve so many problems for us. It just solves us the problem of basic necessaties and satisfying sensory pleasures. It can not help solving my bad relations with my friends or siblings. One can not choose his kid with the help of money. One can not bring satisfaction, perservance and other good qualities with the help of money. Then why the heck one spends so much effort in piling the money which is not needed.

A story

There was a guy, who wanted to know the truth. He explored around the world to listen to the people who claimed to know the truth and the path to ultimate bliss. The information filled him with cloud of questions and stifled him in a world of confusion leading to nowhere. Sphered by dark, suffocated by doubts, the only thing he could ask for was - a divine light.

And comes a Guru with a torch of knowledge to rescue him. He disperses the clouds and breaks the sphere of dark. Enlightened, the guy sings in joy in the rain of right knowledge. Expands his wings of knowledge he starts to learn the world by flying high and salutes the feet of Guru.

Gradually the light gets clearer and clearer, until the guy gets confident. Now he know the truth and next step is the journey towards the path to ultimate bliss.

Misfortune strikes with mix of immaturity! Now the guy listens to sermons of the Guru with less devotion. Because he is overconfident, also can figure out the minute faults in the preaching by the Guru. The old habit of negative thinking from multiple births persist, and it hampers his progress towards the path. Because now he is happy and satisfied with his achievements and deviates in the directions of negativities because of not having strong pursuit of the path to bliss.